Milo Pragmatic

lipogram @ 2003-04-23T16:20:00

2003-04-23T23:16:31Z

Back in January 1999, I took on a daunting task: coming up with words for our famous National Song.

Oh, say, can you spot, by this morning's faint light
What our proud thoughts did hail at last night's final shining
With its rows and bright stars through that nightmarish fight
Up on high it did fly, with a sky for a lining
But did ammo impair? No, bombs bursting in air
Put proof in that night that our flag was still fair!
Oh, say will that star-spangling standard unfold
For this land of no bonds... and this host that is bold.

Various authors had varying propositions.

Sadly, our Song still lacks lyrics.

lipogram @ 2002-12-31T01:33:00

2002-12-31T09:37:31Z

For this forthcoming start of an annual quantity of days, I am going to form a vow, a holiday vow. Or mayhaps two such vows.

First, I will post to my LJ a minimum of fifty-two occasions. I think always on Sundays.

I am taking your input for my additional vow. What do you think?

lipogram @ 2002-09-30T16:59:00

2002-10-01T00:01:48Z

So, this is what's up: I was dating Kim, but it wasn't working out, so it got shut down. And it turns out, our old way of acting as a pair, prior to our dating, it isn't practical now. A thing stands in our midst, holding us apart. Most folks call it an injunction.

lipogram @ 2002-09-05T11:11:00

2002-09-05T18:13:00Z

An acorn grows into a mighty oak. A boy grows into a mighty man. A girl grows into a mighty woman. A calf grows into a mighty cow. A moth grows into a mighty Mothra.

lipogram @ 2002-09-02T07:12:00

2002-09-02T14:14:14Z

It only thaws in spring.

It only looks ugly from within; from without, it's not so bad.

It only costs a dollar fifty to watch Lucas' folly.

It only lasts for an hour or two

It only dulls your pain for an hour or two.

It only wants six words to say it's all past, with nothing to look forward to.

It only dawns on you how much it'll hurt as it starts hurting.

It only rains day in, day out.

It only hurts for month upon month.

It only stops... I don't know if it stops.

(Thanks, pbmath, for your prodding asking what was up.)

lipogram @ 2002-06-21T15:57:00

2002-06-21T23:00:15Z

Sorry for going so long without posting. I took up a hobby, which is a distraction from writing.

I now proudly own my own catamaran: two-foot long, with radio control. Kim bought a sub, and I'm not talking about a sandwich.

lipogram @ 2002-06-06T00:04:00

2002-06-06T07:06:53Z

A quiz going around:

List six things you wouldn't do for millions of dollars, billions of dollars, for any amount at all.

1. Kill a baby
2. Pick up a hard drug addiction
3. Allot my soul to Satan
4. Go back to school
5. Commit hara-kiri
6. Fuck your mom

lipogram @ 2002-06-01T17:12:00

2002-06-02T00:14:22Z

Kim is visiting today for our Tom Hanks marathon. So far, Splash (with Daryl Hannah and John Candy), Big, Nothing in Common, and Apollo 13 down. Bill Paxton was suprisingly good in Apollo 13.

Still to go: That Thing You Do!, Toy Story, Toy Story 2, and Cast Away.

lipogram @ 2002-05-27T15:10:00

2002-05-27T22:13:05Z

My opinion on important things out in our big old world:

This suicidal bombing stuff is just awful.
Iraq sucks.
I don't think Bush won fair and round.
Global warming is bad.
Squashing of our rights by corporations is annoying.
Gun control wouldn't hurt.

Now that I'm pointing it all out this way, fixing it is automatic just by you all looking at it, right?

lipogram @ 2002-05-26T07:22:00

2002-05-26T14:25:05Z

Borrowing this schtick from journals out and about:

101 things about Milo:

1. I was born in North Carolina;
2. my mom was a Catholic,
3. my pop was an alcoholic,
4. my SOS was a cry wanting an assist,
5. but a tot is all I can drink right now.
6. I did most of a stint at Harvard--
7. my major was astronomy--
8. but I quit school as a junior
9, owing to a fight I got into with a physics instructor
10. about if gravity would hurt if I took my hands off him in mid-air.

11. I was an Army guy for almost fifty months.
12. Basic training was fun:
13. My gun (M-16) was my only pal,
14. but I didn't want to kill anybody (discounting my Corporal),
15. and I didn't kill anybody.
16. I also didn't kill anybody during my tour of duty
17. which was in Florida
18. and was so boring I'm not talking about it again.
19. I'm agnostic about god,
20. and I'm agnostic about a good film starring Robin Williams,
21. but I'm fairly doubtful of unicorns.
22. I don't do drugs--pot, shrooms, acid, crank, or smack--
23. although I kinda wish I did.
24. I do drink a lot, though.
25. I go for vodka
26. and gin
27. and rum
28. and kalhua.
29. I probably drink too much,
30. but I don't think I'm an addict.
31. I go to many films,
32. but I can't stand most that I go to.
33. I watch a lot of TV--Buffy, Alias, Babylon 5 in syndication--
34. but I don't know why.
35. I'm apolitical;
36. I'm kind and politic to all and anybody--
37. out loud, anyway.
38. My IQ is high;
39. my GQ is high;
40. my ICQ is low;
41. but my HQ is in San Francisco.
42. My mom was an orphan;
43. my grandpa is only by adoption,
44. so I'm not Kim's cousin by blood.
45. I'm dynamic
46. with a compulsion towards lying
47. and a flair for dramatics.
48. Also, I won a MacArthur grant a ways back.
49. My dating history lists six gals
50. and no guys
51. but also thirty-four solitary-night stands
52. but still no guys.
53. I did kiss a guy
54. ok, two,
55. but it was part of a drinking-activity fun.
56. I'm charming and dashing,
57. lackadaisical and lazy,
58. and full of sophistication.
59. I shop at Wal-Mart and Gap.
60. My brain hurts.
61. I scratch my stomach a lot.
62. My hands lack proportion to my body--too big.
63. I don't dig making lists,
64. but I think sharing is good.
65. For music, I go with Rock 'N Roll;
66. for books, scifi/fantasy;
67. and for comics, old Fantastic Four.
68. I'm happy in a warm spring rain,
69. or watching lighting zap down far away.
70. I own a laptop so I can work during storms,
71. and so I can do typing though I'm lying down.
72. I'm a fan of Hawaiian shirts
73. and favor shorts to long pants
74. and shorts to long films.
75. I own a crown of thorns, but I don't put it on,
76. and a cuisinart, but I don't turn it on,
77. and a back-stabbing traitor, but I won't turn on it.
78. My burglar alarm isn't working right,
79. but don't try coming in or I'll shoot you.
80. I'm not a big man
81. but I carry a big stick.
82. I carry a flask to any location I go.
83. I stay up most nights until dawn,
84. waking in midday.
85. I'm popular with chyx;
86. I know a thing or two about satisfying a gal.
87. I don't want kids--
88. though I don't mind dogs or cats--
89. and I'm not going to marry anybody.
90. Pizza: yum.
91. Back in days past, I was cool with donuts;
92. now I can't stand donuts.
93. I favor standing to sitting,
94. and sitting to lying down,
95. and lying down to most yoga positions.
96. I was a lousy actor in a play in high school.
97. I'm bad at public talking.
98. My only word of francais is 'bonjour'.
99. Ok, and 'francais'.
100. I am, sadly, fictional,
101. but I play a harsh tuba.

lipogram @ 2002-05-25T05:29:00

2002-05-25T12:31:08Z

I just saw an odd thing. A gigantic light at a location I should not spy a light. I think it was a UFO.

lipogram @ 2002-05-18T16:15:00

2002-05-18T23:17:03Z

"Now that that's out of my way..."

Oops, I forgot which post would show first in most lists.

Chronology is confusing.

lipogram @ 2002-05-18T16:14:00

2002-05-18T23:16:16Z

Now that that's out of my way, I can talk about important things.

I was at a music shop on Friday and I ran into an old pal from high school, Johnathan Livingston. It turns out that John's now living in Santa Clara, which isn't too far at all, so I'm hoping I can pop in on him now and again. I was hoping to talk a bit right away, but John had to fly.

Also, I lost my job as a crossing guard. It's not so bad; my boss was a tyrant, and goddamn I couldn't stand such work anyway--why didn't anybody warn that it would imply constantly coping with kids?! Oh my god, what a fucking circus that was.

Thankfully, it was only for two hours a day; I'm still working at my main job, managing a Dunkin' Donuts.

try again

2002-05-18T22:56:31Z

Sorry to go so long without posting; I had a crash as I was writing this on Monday, and it took until now that I was up to trying again. So it is actually about Monday, not today.

I'm curiously nostalgic right now, but I don't know why. At this instant I'm thinking about how Kim and I would hang out in North Carolina way back.

In fact, I'm now thinking of a particular night that Kim had a party. Aunt Cassandra (Kim's mom) had a swimming pool, so this party was outdoors as usual. (If nobody was around, Kim and I would occasionally skinny-dip, but on this night, Kim had on a bikini and I a pair of swim trunks.)

Kim and I got to talking about philosophy: nihilism, sophism, ontology, dualism, and I don't know what all. Kim was trying to claim that good actions brought about a social situation that could only turn participants to improving things in that community. I had a cynical outlook: such actions didn't do any good past that instant.

I can't avoid thinking it was an important discussion, but I don't know why I think that; it was a fairly typical discussion for us. It didn't go to any conclusion, but it also had no acrimony.

lyrics

2002-05-13T07:49:17Z

I'm writing a song. This is just a small bit of it:

I would climb a mighty mountain
I would swim a Scottish Loch
I would do a cautious countin'
Of how many things you stock
I would throw coins in a fountain
I would put my skis in hock
Rob a bank that my account's in
So I could say: girl, you rock

a quiz

2002-05-11T09:47:49Z

I can't wrap my brain around most quiz-journal-posts that go by, so I'm making up my own:

List a famous man or woman who is most similar to or typical of you for that group:

1. authors
  Rudyard Kipling
2. journalists
  Bob Woodward
3. authors of classical music compositions
  Franz Liszt
4. Fab Four
  Ringo Starr
5. living actors
  Don Knotts
6. non-living actors
  Jim Backus
7. 007 actors
  Timothy Dalton
8. criminals
  Tonya Harding
9. judicial branch
  Sandra Day O'Connor
10. living US top dogs
  Bill Clinton
11. non-living US top dogs
  Abraham Lincoln
12. living musicians
  Bryan Adams
13. not-living musicians
  Kurt Cobain
14. fictional, from film
  Craig Schwartz
15. fictional, from TV
  Jonas Grumby
16. fictional, from cartoons
  Scooby-Doo
17. fictional, from comic books
  Nick Fury
18. fictional, from mythology
  Pygmalion
19. Tonight Show hosts
  Johnny Carson
20. martyrs
  Joan of Arc

lipogram @ 2002-05-05T02:45:00

2002-05-05T09:46:53Z

I saw Panic Room tonight (last night?), at an actual film-displaying location with popcorn and air-conditioning and all that.

It was no Fight Club. It had that wacky long moving shot thing in which our filmic POV runs down shafts and through gaps in railings--too much of that. Acting was good as far as it could go. Script was ok for plot, but not much for portrayals, for giving actors anything to dig into.

Kim thought it was fabulous.

lipogram @ 2002-05-03T17:03:00

2002-05-04T00:05:02Z

Kim wants to drop by tonight. I'm not in much of a mood to do anything, so all I'm planning is hanging out in my living room, watching a DVD (I'm thinking Groundhog Day or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof).

I don't know why I'm so awkward around Kim now. Back in North Carolina, Kim and I got along grandly. Pals, buds. A lot in common, so both of us doing things was not just occasional: hanging out in bars, tripping on mushrooms, going duckpin bowling, visiting strip clubs.

It was thirty months ago that my moving to San Francisco did stop us hanging around. But now, Kim is also in San Francisco (as of January). So I don't know why I'm so cautious about it.

lipogram @ 2002-05-02T22:37:00

2002-05-03T05:39:37Z

I'm thinking about pursuing a buddhist philosophy. I worry too much about things I want, and no doubt this puts an unhappy bias in my mind. But it's not obligatory for things to go this way. I could stop wanting so much--stop making my mood climb and fall as things satisfy or disappoint.

Also, I'm amazingly hungry for a Girl Scout Samoa.

an actual transcript of a visit

2002-05-02T08:20:24Z

Good morning. I'm doing ok, thanks. And you?

Good, good. Can I supply you with anything? Food, drink, pot?

No? You don't mind if I dig in, though, do you? I'm thoroughly hungry--my last opportunity for munching was prior to matins. So, what can I do for you?

Sorry, I don't know much about crosswords or cryptograms. I don't think I can do anything about such a situation. No, I also don't know about robot combat programming. I don't think I can do you a bit of good.

That's a possibility, but I think it's a suboptimal solution, don't you? What if you put it on a stationary train at a platform? That way you could talk about involuntary pulmonary contractions without worrying about it showing up on any spy tools.

Oh, what? Must you go so soon? You only just sat down. Mmm, if you must, you must.

Thanks. It was good to sit with you for a bit, anyway. Don't wait so long to call if you want to do this again. Just pick it up and dial.

lipogram @ 2002-04-29T16:46:00

2002-04-29T23:26:22Z

I'm doing music again, finally. Right now, I'm working on a symphony for piano, banjo, bass guitar, violin, and drums. That might not sound symphonic, but it sounds symphonic.

too much suck

2002-04-29T23:02:52Z

So I'm coming back from work, and what do I find? A pair of clowns goofing off halfway down my block. I'm not talking clowns in a tropical way to imply two normal but annoying humans; I'm talking clowns with big happy and sad facial colorings stuck right on. You know, clowns that got away from a circus or carnival. (Clowns that should go back, too.)

So I know you must now think, "So what? What was up with this Castor and Pollux of clowning? Why is Milo going on about this?" I do not hold it against you for criticizing my roundabout way of communicating. It's not that good a story, in fact, but I'm milking it for all it's worth. Obviously.

Our first clown was juggling. Clown two was rapping. Rapping synchronously with his juggling buddy.

But no Flying Karamazovs, this pair. Clown A wasn't juggling balls, nor clubs, nor rings, nor bowling balls, nor chainsaws. Nor cats. No, what was going up and down via his hands? Portraits of Stalin. Poorly drawn portraits of Stalin, in fact.

And his pal's rapping wasn't so hot. What words did I find sliding through this warm day's air? Not lyrics from a pop song. Not historical truths, nor political barbs. No, just proclamations of adoration for Tom and Ray Magliozzi--Car Talk's Click and Clack. A virtual orgy of adulation and sucking-up. And not at all musical; its audio quality was as if chalk was grating on a blackboard.

As you might think, this was not particularly causing my mood to lift. And to top it all off: this pair of hooligans asks for a donation!

What is this town coming to? I'm not going to put up with this kind of crap for long.

losing

2002-04-29T03:35:33Z

I'm always losing things. What's up with that? Today I can't find my lockpicks, so I'm stuck: I can't trick my car into functioning, so no driving.

I think Kim was possibly flirting my way last night. I don't think that's wishful thinking, as I find that possibility awkward as anything. With luck Kim was just scratching an itch. (and shush with your IYKWITA,AITYD)

animal visitation

2002-04-28T02:08:32Z

Just got back from visiting Oakland Zoo. My cousin Kim (from that band Salivation Army I saw a bit ago) was visiting, so a trip was sort of obligatory, and I brought up my plans from Thursday. Kim was cool with it, so that was that. Obviously tops hanging out in my living room.

On arrival at that location, Kim burst out in song: Conjunction Junction, what's your function? It turns out, last occasion Kim was in a zoo was on a school trip, so it brought up all sorts of odd associations.

Mostly it was good, but now Kim wants a pair of lizards. I said, "Good for you, but don't think I'm going to pitch in watching your lizards if you go on trips out of town." I don't much go for lizards--a lizard shot my dad.

But, all in all, I'm oddly happy.

lipogram @ 2002-04-26T22:50:00

2002-04-27T05:55:34Z

Giant sandbags on my block, cutting off traffic, through and local. Why? I don't know, no sign of a flood, although lord knows I'm going to cry an awful lot tonight.

It was a total pain in my ass trying to park my car. I'm going to talk to my landlord about this, and if I don't find satisfaction in his actions, I may just go buy a condo across town or... bah. It's so annoying, having to put up with this crap. As if it was my fault that my old parking spot got blown up by an angry Canadian idol-worshipping organization.

Anyway. My cousin is coming by tomorrow. If past is any proof, wacky hijinks will follow.